Radio Feverland

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Tuesday, July 19, 2005

This is a Recording

The following is an archival transcript of the text of the patented Radio Fever Two Minute Record Review of the band Cinecyde's "Like A UFO." It was written by erstwhile (that's a fancy word for former) Radio Fever co-host Sassy.
Over the next few weeks, we'll be digging through a crate of dusty, year-old typewriter paper and throwing random bits of Radio Fever hotstory up on the interweb for all eyes to enjoy and for future historians to examine. We hope you "dig it."
-- Martin Endicott, Associate Professor of Media Archivism, Alpena General Community College, Alpena, MI.

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Santa Fe, New Mexico.
Mongtomery Warren’s parents found a note pinned to a Howdy Doody pull-string doll in his little sister’s bedroom. It was the last they heard from precocious little Monty. He was 11. The year was 1959. This is what it said.

"I will not eat my broccoli. I refuse. Nor will I eat my spinach. I know what you people are trying to do to me and while your Kiwanis and Daughters of the American Revolution facades may be benign, I’ve found out the ugly, sinister truth about your so-called “beta-carotene.” You can’t hide what you truly are. At night, after my dear sister Barbara is asleep – and you think that I am, too – I sneak to my window and see the glow and the flashes coming from quote-unquote father’s woodshed. Ha!
I tried talking to Barbara, but she’s too far gone, too indoctrinated by your rituals of extraterrestrial experimentation to see the forest for the trees. Yes, I said it! And I’ll say it again: Extraterrestrials. You are hideous monsters from another dominion and I won’t stand pat for the way you’ve infected everything I hold dear like a VIRUS!!!
This is the last you’ll hear from me. By the time you read this I’ll be long gone, headed for the Air Force base at Roswell where I know they’ll take the necessary measures to expose your cruel machinations to the world. And you will be forced to reveal your true nature, no doubt on the Jack Parr program or some such televised venue where the veracity of your alien nature is irrefutable to the naked eye.
Your plot is foiled Herbert and Miriam – or whatever your real name is! And you’ll never know what else I’ve seen! The truth shall overcome!!!"

1 Comments:

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